The Right Column

Rain

cold rain.

I was on the fence this year about getting a tree. Tree? No tree? The year I didn't get one I couldn't get one at the end because there was a big storm and all the trees were covered in ice, no chance to have it thaw. It was Christmas eve, far too late.

Someone I know told me that I should take 'christmas' and bring it to the donation center, all the old ribbons and bows that I've saved over the years thinking 'oh, what a pretty red, a real red, a real Christmas red. and it's in the big plastic container that's 15 years old by now which 'solved' the problem of 'what do I do with this junk?' My friend's idea: take it all and get rid of it becuase what do you care?

That was a point of me understanding that this guy doesn't really know anything about me. And doesn't care to, either. It's a tree. It's in my living room. and it's a way to spawn memories which are good to have, times that were fun and thinking about people who I still love even though they may have, at times, made it impossible for me to overcome the deep sadnesses of the late Autumn which arrive just at the time of the first week long nor-easter, like it used to be for me in years gone by.

so it's raining. And the world seems pointless. And the streets are wet. It's like this every year. Every year.

And I've always been one to say that cycle the things of your life. Don't just get rid of things becuase they aren't any good anymore, get rid of them so you can share them with someone else and put some new things into your life and into someone else's (by donating the good items to a worthy cause). Do you have some things that you have covetted? Things tha tyou thought you couldn't live without and that really do make your life have a little bit more joy? Or they did? Nice things that can be put to good use. They still work. They are still very good, and useful. But you don't use them anymore. And they are'n't collectibles, or something that is easy to monitize. So what do you keep it all for? Cluttering up the channels of your life? When you donate things like that, which someone will have glee when they find it for a small amount of cash money at the thrift store, when you do that, you are passing joy on to someone else. And it's not materialism. It's material-sharing.

We live in the material world. And materials can be crafted in ways that seem marvelous when we first encounter the shapes and forms, colors and shimmers, of some well crafted baubble. We bought it because we liked it. We thought, I can give this to . . . and we think of a person. Next thing we are wondering is this really something that he will want (or she)? We wrap it up. We send it off. And no response. sometimes. People are underwhelmed. Why did you give me that crap? What do you think I want your chincy bauble, waste money. I'm jonesing for life, and you are giving me stuff. I want contact. and you give me separation. So we advance to a different place. We decide that all of the 'things' are not really what we need to exchange. If someone is in want, or need, we do provide that. But do we really wait for Christmas (or whatever traditional day of giving) for things that are necessary? Do we let someone experience hunger the weeks leading up to the day of feast? Maybe they had to in ages past when crops would fail or muaraders would come 'collecting'. But in this modern age we have a lot of abundance, more than we can really figure out how to distribute equitibly, which results in a curious thing where people considered to be 'poor' are morbidly obease and suffering from the effects of it (really suffering). The government gives them so much for free that they can't get a handle on their weight. This is a real deal affliction.

nothing wrong with extra weight until the health fails.

So we live in this curious age of abundance where even those on welfare suffer from obesity. And we are so well off as a society that gifts of material things mean nothing to us anymore. We don't even consider it more than nothing. "Why did you bother? you are frying the planet through your spending on useless things."

But when you take those things you bought your self last year, the year before, that clutter up your house and that you don't use, that add no value and just take up space, like a third set of vanity towels that you bought one day when you were depressed and wondering around Barshawls (or a store with a name that rhymes) but that you don't use. Take them over to the donation store and give them there. And then watch as gleeful people, people who really do need these things, are very happy to find these awesome items at such good prices. Do this, and who cares what a jaded nephew thinks about your tiny gifts.

A gift is often just a token of affection. Some people don't feel it. They see it as a chore. Now they need to acknowledge and respond when they just wanted to go be drunk at the ski slope, or spend a few days at a surfer beach doing bong hits by a roaring fire. Now they need to start being adult and remembering relatives who they barely know that well given the nature of modern families.

But give the gift anyway. This might be the year that they've grown up. Maybe they understand that you are midlife and with no spouse and . . . well you know that it doesn't easier. Pay it forward? No. It's a gift. Expect nothing in return, not even a response. Be joyful when you get it, then, and you will.

So, it's the season of giving. So give. And giving doesn't say 'and you must do this with what I give you'. That isn't a gift, it's a type of debit, nothing that anyone wants. So don't be like that.

For gifts that are excessive, overly ostantatious, that someone asked for you to give, but knew it was a lot to ask, of course there might be some kind of debit associated with it. So if daddy buys youngun a car, daddy may say that he is 'helping you' to buy that car. And so you need to pay back or pay off the loan. That's fine.

Reviewing what I wrote above, and thinking about it while I'm getting ready to go out for the evening, I understand how I must sound. I'm being all 'oh, here is some advice' and maybe I don't know the full story. You can't be an enabler. But at the same time, if you are old, and you have poor realitive, and you are wealthy, what are you waiting for? Do you let them live in poverty or do you give them generous financial support like paying off a mortgage, or some thing?

But when someone lives beyond their means, and you 'reset' their finances, they often just get back to that same thing: living beyond their means. Helping them is good, but you can't save them from their own spendy ways.

So ignore what I say here if that makes you feel better. When I read this later I'll probably need to edit this and take out some of the more rambling passages. But for now, I've got to get out the door, so, it's a wrap!

Rain
Wet
Cold
Heart burn bright!

Constant edit! Let me say it again: constant edit!

It' december again.
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more to come as the season demands.

Dec 1, 2014

Back When He Remembered Blue

Back when he remembered blue 
he thought it would be nice
to make a blue for his kitchen
and paint the wall
behind the sink
that blue.

But now the years have gone along.
The house is older, the thickets
surround the lawn
the rabbits feast on the flowers that bloom.
He has no carpets in his room.

There was a green
that he'd see
in the forest
when he wouldn't remember it
didn't see it then
it showed up as a time in dream
when nothing is frantic
waking up before the dawn
explosion of morning not yet happening
when there are no greens
but pales that seem to be of no particular shade
neither night shades or day shades, nor morning yet, no
time to see it so quickly while waking to it as it comes into your eyes.

So he went looking
for that green
and could only find it
in the cheapest of things,
the least expensive of child's toys,
the throw away paper table cloth
the one-time-use inflatable beach ball
beach and sun and wind and far horizon of a Sunday
when the expected rain
never came
but instead
a different kind of sky
this beach
where we see no houses,
no factories
no distant cargo looms atop the world
down below the sky
where a plane jets by.
He hears it.
It's behind some clouds now. 
It's droning louder.
He remembers the baby
how she would giggle at the sight of
the sun pouring through the yew
in front of the big single-pane glass window
ninety-sixties vintage
of their first house
before his divorce
and the world got all washed away
trips across the world
leave the toddlers with some friends
at the summer festival
the kids never forgave them
after they'd grown up
it was always sore
he spent his holidays elsewhere
he used to betray his friends
it was a habit with him
if you called him on it
he did a sudden personality morph
and boasted of his appetites,
sniffed at the air
no one will take his calls but they might call back.
He has no one to spend a dollar on for the holidays that cares to see him.
It's a Saturday
he's binge watching Santa Monica Santa, the 
holiday series of murder and holiday merry
horror
geopolitical rampage
planet of the appetites
midnight highway car crash
Bakersfield of the mythology of non-country and western listeners
Midnight olive grove during a drought.
shallow grave.

The DVD ends.
Suddenly the television shuts itself off.
There are no other lights on in the house.
He uses his cell phone as a flash light
fishes for a fuse
it's not the fuse.
It's not the breaker on the wall.
the world is now dark
even the phone eventually looses power.
             

Please visit my DEMOS

 a note on your inannity, if this applies to you:
Happy Christmas can not be caught, dn't chase it.
Discomfort alliviated.
World Christmas is rowdy, inclusive, and fraternal.

Your biggest enemy: strongly held delusions.

delete your fortune cookie world view. Live in the real world.

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visit my DEMOS

🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 
🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 
🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 
🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 🌛 

delete your bad behaviors from your possible actions.

3:13 P.M. Dec 1, 2014


only give clean water, even to your enemies.
Have no enemies except for your delusions.

Celebrate 
 Christ!  

🌛 
🌛
       A
    Christmas
   joy-bird will land
bounce and jump between the branches
ascend
and then it fleet away.

At the last chance for a glimpse
he turns around to look
just before it flies away


Dec 11, 2014


Santa 
  ho ho ho
 he knows
   ho ho ho
what you did
   ho ho ho
     last Summer 

Please visit my DEMOS

    Fear the Lord ~ ⏲⏱⏰⏲⏱⏰⏰⏲⏱⏰⏰
 But He's always good to you ~ ; )
     so

 

Praise the Lord!

Listen to the night wind
singing through the trees
Listen to the midnight town
in a blistery breeze

                

I got nothing more