trying to remember why
meaningless to try and understand your anger
if there isn't any respect
how can there be love?

Sadness.
weeks later.
His boasting.
An anger that makes no sense
that I didn't cause
volcano that he is

You say you are broken
I am broken too.
I found my self destroyed.
I just pretended, got on with the dance
parts of my soul
dripping into the fountain
the windows all slammed shut
just as I approached, lights
going out
as I pass by on the way
maniacle laugther
force of villains and demons
ready to rip out the heart of me

You say you are broken
as if it's only you who is broken.
I told the voices in my head
to shut the Fuchh up.
I told those demons
in a voice like a monster
that Jesus
Loves
Them
Jesus Christ is Lord.

What could I say, or care to do
to think that I'd get through to you
when you set forth
and shoot the rapids of rage
there is no stopping you then.

No flight
she didn't have any coins
she said he was a great poet
because they'd given him an award
but she could remember
what any of the poems were about
sounds like great poetry

On a plane
if you sit next to someone chatty
who doesn't realize how long the flight
is going to be
they rattle on
about all of this and that
to be polite
the dive into a magazine
or they put their headphones on
hoping you won't pay attention to you anymore
but you are so pretty.

when no one is human
and they are all pretending
and expecting you to be,
everything you do and say is scrutinzed
you dare to tell them about your views on banking and politics
as if they really want to hear it.

They pick up a great big ax
They hold it over you like they are going to use it
you bolt from the room 
faster than the lightning that
can not be un-thundered,
when they yelled "I don't care what you think
I don't care what your opinions are
I don't care about your ideas
or your views on politics"

I tried to tell you
what you wanted to hear
but you kept hearing something else,
disagreeing with anything.

So I mirrored what you were saying, 
with different words,
but you still vehemently disagreed with me
not hearing me,
not getting my jokes, on purpose.
Purposely not getting my jokes
and acting a fool
as if I am a barbarian
and a hater of anything that isn't like me.

So I looked down at the water
in the toilet
and heard the sound
that is made when you stand there
doing that
and thinking
last time, last car ride here
last car ride home
don't ever text.

You sent me a text
so clear in how mean it was supposed to be
terse, mean
like you were talking to your . . .
I'm not your . . . 

Yes you'd done it a bunch of times
to scores of ex friends
don't ever text me
ever again

Of course if you run down that dirt road
you will followoing along a fallow forest
to the left, to the right, over head
hanging down
all along that side of the river,
between those many hills 
off towards a ridgeline

And later, when you are winded,
off in the wild lands of you
alone with your legions
of voices
everyday it is you
and you alone
chased me away
to a dessert of someplace house
because you say I am a fool,
no one to be listened to.

And then the phone
call to say
ok now
I won't be mad
today I promise
I'll be kind
I'll get you some food
to make up for all of my mean
and if you could . . .
for me . . . 

But maybe I can't anymore for you
not my smile
not my wit
because you don't care
about my politics
my view of History, as if that should matter.

Your failure to be for real
is the reason that they diagnois you
Me I choose to remain
undiagnoised.